Apparently being single affects my self-worth, significance and success. As much as I love the Ensign, I have to admit this just confirmed my fear that there is in fact a line between being married and being single, and the "marrieds" of the world just don't know quite what to do with us "singles" out there.
One of my favorite lines in the article is ... "Watching younger siblings marry and begine their families has been painful. Prone to depression, (we'll insert Katie Jo here) doesn't feel socially skilled. She hasn't had a date in four years." Prone to depression? Seriously? I could think of a lot of things that would push me into depression before being single would. (and I have had a date in the last 4 years- not going to say how many, that's not the point).
So I guess I'm supposed to set some goals to become "attractive to my potential marriage partner". Again...Seriously? Have they been to my ward? My FHE? My Institute classes? Not a lot of options out there people. My satisfaction, meaning and happiness is not based on being single.
After reading this you might think I am one of those cynical singles. I promise I'm not a menace-to-society as many people think. In fact, I think I contribute quite a bit to society. I have a great job (with many other successful singles I might add) and I enjoy my life. I haven't lost hope ... if anything I consider myself lucky. I get to do things in my life that most people will never experience, and when marriage comes along it comes along, but it doesn't define who I am.
7 comments:
Kate I love that you write like I am talking to in person, it makes me miss you that much more!! This makes me think of the Dr. Seuss book the "Star Belly Sneeches" and those that have stars on their bellies and those that don't...so since it looks like I have a star on my belly... just kidding...you know I just love you single or not. I am really really glad that you are not married to the couple of guys you could have been married to and I just love to live via you as you travel and have fun!!! Love ya :)
I really like that you wrote this. I'm sure the author had good intentions, but just because one person may be 'prone to depression' because they aren't married, that doesn't speak for everyone, or even the majority. I think that everyone has the right to be happy in their own lives, and we aren't all going to be doing or having the same things. There are plenty of married people who are miserable, and I don't think that a single status should be looked at with pity, or that you should assume that person is unhappy. I love that you are so fabulous, good post!
I've been anxiously waiting for this... WELL SAID! Thanks for your thoughts. Remind Jennica and I to tell you about our experience in our new ward yesterday. You'll die. Seriously!
We need to be bloggin buddies, but mine is private cuz there's some serious psycho's out there. SO...send me your email address, so I can send you an invite!
hali_nielsen@hotmail.com
You're awesome! Laters
As someone who didn't CHOOSE to get married until I was 33 (I know - gasp, shock, awe!)...I feel your pain. My Mission President (currently a Bishop of a Singles Ward in Portland) summed it up pretty well for me a few years ago...he said, "Trust me JaLae...as a Bishop I see what you are dealing with. The men your age (I was 31) fall into one of three categories: 1) They have a huge commitment issue because they haven't gotten married yet...2)They have a lot of baggage because they have...or 3) They have a mental illness. Stay away from all three!" With that in mind, did the Ensign say how you are suppose to "keep the hope alive" with options like those? Take my advise: either move to the East Coast where people don't traditionally get married until they are at least 30 or...keep you passport current and have a blast!
Katie,
I never see you like that! It's easy for me to see that you're happy and successful. The right guy is out there but I think you have the right idea. Live life to the fullest. Love you!
Amen Cousin! You seemed to have a lot more fun then some of those marrieds out there. So maybe you could write an article for them. I'm glad you're doing so well for yourself. I look up to ya.
I think that people need to cool it on the marriage thing. GOOD NIGHT!!! And if I ever treat you differently, slap me upside the head kid.
Also, I know you've been wondering, but it has started to pick up. I've only been able to "conquer the world" twice this week. Pretty soon I don't know if i'll have time for those three hour game sessions :)
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